3004 廚房

3004 廚房
為保障病人隱私,作者於心理學隨筆內並沒有在未經客戶的同意下,放置任何病患的真實故事,所有包含心理治療的故事內容都已經改編,忌對號入座。另外,本人不能在網上隔空治療,所以本網站並不提供任何形式的心理諮詢服務,如有需要,請到醫院或診所求診,敬請留意。All the psychotherapy stories are written in ways to protect clients' confidentiality and privacy rights. NO real and identifiable clients' stories are shared on this website without their permission. No psychotherapy consultation will be provided on this website. Please do see your local provider for any psychological consultation.

2012年4月11日 星期三

On Being a Woman (1) 小女生在大世界的宣言(上)

對於盛女愛作戰這種節目請採取眼不見為乾淨的態度
Gender dynamics is something that I feel very close to my heart.  I don't think of myself as a feminist and in fact, you will probably find me as one of the most feminine persons in your life. I like to wear make up, do my hair, put on a dress in the summer, read woman magazine and cook a lot. I am soft-spoken, high pitched and gentle. I am also very nurturing, compassionate and other-oriented. I love to look fit and beautiful. Being all of the above never really bother me because that's who I am and I don't need to pretend that I am not.  I am proud to have the above characteristics.

I enjoy being a woman, for the most part. I do believe there are some benefits of being a woman.  For example, we can be emotionally supportive to each other and talk about our feelings most of the time.  On the contrary, men are often not encouraged to discuss their vulnerability publicly in our society. That's unfair and that's the society that we are living in and we got to recognize it. This is an unfair world. I have to repeat this. This is an unfair world. It is naive to think that the world is just. Read the Just world hypothesis if you are not understanding what I am saying.

I was drawn to gender studies when I was still a high school student. I did a small scale study on whether people would prefer to be a boy or girl. My unsophisticated study found that people (high school students) in general would rather be boys than girls. Then I went to college and studied women's power as portrayed in the Powerpuff girls for my final term paper in the Media, Sex & Violence class. Afterwards, I did some field work in a speed dating context and came to write a paper for my anthropology class on sex war.  Yes, when I was 21, I thought men and women were declaring war on each other. I haven't figure out yet the term was "power struggle."

Now, as a psychology doctoral student and a student clinician, I come to be more aware of gender dynamics in my interpersonal relationship, professional life and everyday life.  For instance, using an example that I shared in class today, when I have a male client in my room, I wonder how should I act?  Should I act like an expert, a submissive woman or the gentle usual me?  The weird thing is I never have to think about this question when I am with a female client or with a child. Why is that? If you have not realized yet, that's what we called the power dynamics/struggle between men and women.  (I apologize for not being able to incorporate other sexes here because I have insufficient knowledge background on the other sexes. Being a woman, I am more privilege in that sense.)

I am no expert on gender studies and I am not aspiring to become one.  What I can write is my own experience as a woman and I am not saying that all the women feel and behave the same way as I do. I know that I live in a patriarchal society, no matter I am in Hong Kong or in the United States. That' history and present. That's my fate but I am not going to let it paralyze me. I am here embracing the challenges of being a woman with integrity and dignity, with respect and sensitivity. At the same time,  I aspire to pay my respect to people of different gender and not to oppress them in anyway within my conscious awareness because I know what it is liked to be considered less. I will never name any women as "pork-chop," "Kong women (港女)" or "Sing women (盛女), no matter it is 「盛」or「 剩」" Its disparaging and derogatory. As a former journalism & communication/cultural study/anthropology student, I despise those who use the media to transmit sexist messages. It is irresponsible and for that reason, I use my space in the social media to resist sex discrimination.

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